whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
