Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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