There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
