This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
