there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
