What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
