There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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