But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
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Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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