she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
