I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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