Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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