My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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