remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
