what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
