We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
