If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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