AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My bed is full of blood and feathers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
