you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
