I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
