don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
In America we eat man semen.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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