you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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