I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
