She announced her abortion via fbk
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
