Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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