Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
