She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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