Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
