He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So squirting runs in the family.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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