please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My life is pants optional.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
