I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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