I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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