I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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