when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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