I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
