Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
