So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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