google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
