life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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