no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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