fuck your aforementioned shoe
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
