He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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