My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
