K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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