So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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