dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
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Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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