During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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