His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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