Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want her autograph on my taint
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
