Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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