you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
