On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
