the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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