If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
