What did we do last night that was yellow?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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