I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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