david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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