I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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