They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
