so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
