I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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