The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
