So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
