It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
